Long overdue reflection and 9/11

First of all, I would like to remember all the victims of 9/11, and all of our troops in harm's way for making all the sacrifices they make each day. I am blessed to have been an Army wife, and have met some of the bravest and selfless people in the world.

I have been thinking about posting about my reflections on adopting an older child, and now that I have a better control over the house and its inhabitants, I can sit down and write.

You will never be prepared enough to bring home an older child. No matter how many books you read, no matter how much training the adoption agency offers you, no matter how many children you have had before....it is a life changing experience.

I had naively (is that a word? ESL moment....) thought that love would conquer all, that things would fall right into place, that even though there may be some adjustment, I was up for it. After all, I already have two children, I am a seasoned mother, right?

When you first get home, you are so tired from the trip and the jet lag that you can barely stand it. Everything looks worse than it really is, and all you want to do is cry. You have kids fighting, not eating, not sleeping, and you are trying to hold it together for the whole family. The house is a mess, and you can't keep up with the laundry, the bathrooms, and if you are a bit OCD like me, everything is out of place and it drives you crazy.

We have now been home a week, and even though we still have our "moments" it seems like heaven compared to a few days ago. I know we will have hurdles and more adjustment coming when day care comes into play, surgeries, and everything else she has never experienced before, but we will work through it. After all, we have a great family, and we love each other so much.

I don't mean to scare any prospective adopting parents who are thinking about an older child, and I am sure it is not the same for everybody, but I wanted to share my story, because I bet a lot of people go through the same thing and just don't want to talk about it because they feel less of a mother or a father. This is me, weak and tired, spilling it all out. That's what the blog is for after all, sharing our life with everybody else.

Get help when you get home, don't turn anybody down. If anybody wants to cook, let them. If they just want to come by and sit with you for a couple of hours, let them. If they want to take one of the other kids for a play date, don't feel guilty, let them go. I bet your other children are ready to get out of the madness as well!!!!!

That's it. We are making huge steps.

Love to all,

Laura















Dress up time!