Every year around the girls' birthdays I get poopy because I once again cannot get myself to write one of those glorious posts about their birth mothers. I am trying really hard, I really am, and I am still unsuccessful. And they are getting older and are starting to ask questions, and talking about their China moms. I just don't have it in me, and I don't know where to find it. I guess it is compassion or understanding - whatever it is, I lack it.
I lie really good, though. I tell them their China moms loved them, and it is so hard to tell Emma that, given her circumstances. And I would love to share the details for my own personal "revenge" but it is something so atrocious and private, that I just cannot do it. Not for Emma's sake, because I would rather die than her ever finding out what happened.
So, another year of me being less than gracious about this. I'll try again next year, and maybe one day I will be a better person. For now, I'm just a witch.
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